Jain Temple, Ahmedabad |
If you are knowing, you are doing things in a particular
order. You see familiarity in the signs that you become used to. I go this way
and this may or will happen. Often, in the environment you become used to,
these signs may not please you, may not help you, but you understand them and
find some comfort in their existence.
Until they are no longer comfortable.
Until the constancy of oppression changes the complexion of
where you are.
Over time, you may decide your fabrication of reality has
been maladjusted. It has been tampered with, misplaced. If it becomes relentlessly
wrong, you may decide it is time to go. To leave the area of your confinement. You
may decide on a search. A new adventure. A great escape.
You will treasure your narrative about this new place. You
will bring your assumptions and more than likely they will be wrong.
Before you are going, though, you may find that you become
selective in what you are seeing or knowing about your place of origin. You may
find yourself in the best of all possible worlds, enjoying the finest of where
you are. How pleasant this is. Knowing you are going can remove the stigma of
your present situation.
And then you are not there anymore.
The expectation of travel is delightful. The long voyage is
streamlined with accommodations. You pay for this unreal time of complete
pleasure. The pleasure of leaving is intoxicating. The pleasure of going to a
completely new place is also intoxicating. Here we live in a dreamy expectation
of what was and what may be.
Then you are there.
It becomes as everyday as the place you left, only quite
different. You must navigate your expectations. You must navigate protocol. You
will find guides who will help along the way. There will be many obstacles.
There will be many delights. Your comfort zone will be shattered and you will
try to make things familiar. It will be a long process. You must be patient.
You find that going is also starting over. You may have
forgotten how much that entails while in the comfortable situation you recently
left. There was a routine. Actions you could count on to make things bearable.
Signs that let you know all was well. You find your knowing is a kind of
protection; a way to make sense of the chaos around you, to make sense of the
other beings around you; to place you in the stream of time and the field of
comfort. We seek such things whether we acknowledge it or not.
In the end, then, there is no end; only a reconfiguration of
comfort, knowing, coming, going–a circle into infinity where the mind adjusts to
the body’s demands.
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